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kid 34, Female, New York, USA - 20 entries

Nov 2006
8:21 AM EDT

This week sucks so far J is in Walton and I'm losing my mind I'm drinking got my friend hooked into it to and she's not supposed to drink cause if she gets caught her parents will blow up cause their extremly strict and I'm smoking and still cutting

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bettyboxedin 35, Female, Canada - 24 entries

Nov 2006
6:01 AM CST

well today i came home at about ten because i have a migraine and sore throat. i saw Jordy he was on his way to go to the hospital though. things are starting to get really hard between he and i, he is spending less and less time with me and i never get to see him only once every one to two weeks. i know his home life is really rough and it is selfish of me to ask so much of him but i really miss him and want to see him. My mom screwed me over and stole $500 from me so i will not be able to move as soon as Jordy and i hoped. this really sucks i feel so angry, alone and just emotionally and physically drained. i have insomnia again which i hate so much i want to just scream i hate being alone.i am looking for a job, i live in a small rural town so there is nothing around me. but my art should be picking up soon and start selling again. i am going to make a website promoting it maybe that will help. i am listening to linkin park numb right now its another one of those songs i talked about that express what i feel. i cut again last night and just lay their in my blood crying. when is enough, enough? everyone else seems to be getting their break but when everyone else gets their break things seem to get harder for me. i just want to be happy. a few days ago i watched two funreals two days in a row and i can't help be jelous of the sob who died they probably died happy with their families around them, when i almost died my family was no were around, thats why when i get the hell out of this town i want to start a family with jordy make up for the shity families he and i have. but that won't be at least until we are twenty

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jleigh09 39, Female, United Kingdom - 35 entries

Nov 2006
12:21 AM WEDT

feeling ok at the mo havnt seen steven much lately he is at work alot lately he needs the money. found out that one of mates is mum died during the week it was her funeral yesterday and it his 23rd bd tomorrow i feel really sorry for him but we r all making sure he knows his mates are around him. i am hoping to see steven tomorrow am really missing him at the mo.

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Babysmallz 38, Female, New York, USA - 9 entries

Nov 2006
5:15 PM CST

ok so i havent written an entry in like forever, i guess i haven't been doing much of anything lately, Its like every time i plan on improving and becoming a better person i just cant motivate myself enough to suceed. Theres so many things going wrong in my lfe right now its like i woke up yesterday and looked in the mirror and i didin't know the person starring back at me, this isn't who im suppose to be or the life im suppose to be living, but sometimes its easier to go with the flow and give up, because fighting for what you want is scary, and honestly i just don't think im strong enough.

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redshotlizard 37, Female, New York, USA - 17 entries

Nov 2006
7:43 AM HNT

"Let all be said in the game of love and departure." It's a quote I made up that is very true to me. I am happy to say that YES I broke up w/ my boyfriend and I am moving on. I am very sorry to say that I didn't do it in the very most polite way but hey it happens. I think I was being selfish because my feelings were hurting because I knew that I wasn't treating him fairly. I haven't been true to myself and I have been trying to escape my true feelings. I thought I loved him but that love didn't last long. I was w/ him for 1 month and 1 week. I hope I didn't hurt his feelings because I hope we are still friends. I hope he won't hurt himself over me because I am not worth the pain. There are so many things to be said here. My life has changed and I have gone through a lot since this year has begun. But the new guy that I am w/ has changed me in a way that I would never have imagined. He makes me happy and I am finally smiling these days and people tell me that i look happier w/ him. I feel happy around him all the time. He is very special to me. This guy has helped me open up to people and I would have never thought that was possible for me to do. But I found out something great that I helped him do too. He opened up to me and got some things out of his chest that were killing him as he bottled up his thoughts, emotions, and things that meant the most to him. I have never liked someone as much as I like him. Dear God, bless our relationship and help us to last. He makes me feel beautiful and I feel wonderful around him. I can be myself when I am with him and he thinks that I am great. He is himself around me too and I love that he won't change since we are together. We are who we are but we are together that's all. I love not only who he is but who I am when I am with him. Bless all u who are in a relationship. I hope you all are happy. Listen to your heart and make sure you don't change for the guy. Make sure you stay you and are comfortable. It's not worth going out with a guy that pressures you to do things, change for him, or sneak around. Be careful and make sure He doesn't make you get out of your comfort bubble. I have been through it and it is painful. It hurt me and stripped me bare of anything that mattered to me most. I wasn't happy and I wasn't feeling loved. Even though I was with Him I felt regected and used. Don't make the same mistake I made because it will haunt you forever. A guy is not worth the pai because you are important and nobody can tell you otherwize. ~Elizabeth

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1 comment(s) - 12:00 PM - 11/09/2006

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susmita 38, Female, Hong Kong SAR - 4 entries

Nov 2006
9:49 AM GMT

well, its like life is going smooth finally without having to think much for a day at least idont have time or i dont try to. work is going great..its just like wat i wanted to do now or in the future, although money always matters...i have been reading a book named "Words of Wisdom from the Dalai Lama" siwangi bought it few months back...and its great..the words are amazing..they are so influential that anyone who is crest-fallen or needs to move ahead in life, this book would be a great gift.. i picked some quotes from the book and forwarded them to my friends...maybe some of them would feel being helped or some of them might feel optimistic(thats wat i expect).. wellwrite to u more from home..its almost time for me to leave and I might meet Prashant today i have to get Kurt Cobain's comic books from him..his life story is really sad hmm not sad his life is an injustice....maybe we could make a difference by reading or knowing abt him..lemme see...Aite!!!..cya

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Jane 58, Female, New York, USA - 50 entries

Nov 2006
5:28 AM EDT

Yesterday’s big excitement for the day was that the online store to purchase the Heat and Eat meals is up and running. I had been having trouble getting the website online. I guess there was some technical problems with the IPS, RPS (???) routing #, I don’t know much about that part of the website. Well, I don’t really know much about anything about building a website but I am figuring it out. But the online store is working well (knock on wood). Now that we had the big sampling event we are waiting for the orders to roll in. In the mean time I am back to my cleaning project at the store. If anyone is in need of hundreds of Kotex from about 1950 let me know. I swear every corner I look in there is another box. Maybe in 1950 they were so modest that they had to hide the Kotex and they eventually just forgot about them. “Some people seek happiness……others create it” J

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milagros 37, Female, California, USA - 13 entries

Nov 2006
5:08 PM EDT

I think that is true because when you do not expressed your self. you just stuck there instead of say your feelings. For my own experience i expresed my self with my family and friends. i think that every person should expressed their feelings,

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BABYGIRL47 39, Female, South Carolina, USA - 3 entries

Nov 2006
4:09 AM EDT

well im new to tis but it is the day aftre my step daughter mom died she was murdered by her father it was so sad im mean she is 3 years old so she didnt understand she was asking what r they doing to mommy y isnt mommy moveing she understood mommy was sleeping but didnt know y she was laying in a box i mean how do u tell a 3 year old mommy isnt comming back???? its hard on her daddy to cause he cant do any thing for his baby cause she dont understand i would say im taking it ok now i mean the baby has spent more time with me than her mom but i can never replace her and i dont want to try eaither that was her mom i just want to be a friend to this baby i love her father to death so it wont matter i am soppse dto be marrying him next year so i still hope things will work out and i will also be able to adopt the baby as if she was my own well i will write back later

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sublettt30 71, Female, Texas, USA - 66 entries

Nov 2006
4:02 PM EDT

Its been a few days but I am still posting. Life has so many things that can take your time.

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